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Governor Newsom Orders Californians To Launch Fireworks Indoors This Year
SACRAMENTO, CA—California Governor Gavin Newsom held a stern press conference today where he lectured people on how to celebrate their freedom safely and responsibly this Independence Day. In addition to banning most gatherings where people usually...
The Babylon Bee
Governor Newsom Orders Californians To Launch Fireworks Indoors This Year
11h
Frenzied Crowds Rush Stores To Pick Up Copy Of 'Blazing Saddles' Before It Goes Down Memory Hole
U.S.—Riotous crowds rushed brick and mortar stores today to pick up copies of Mel Brooks' groundbreaking comedy Blazing Saddles before it permanently goes down the memory hole due to jokes that are off-limits in today's enlightened society of love...
The Babylon Bee
Frenzied Crowds Rush Stores To Pick Up Copy Of 'Blazing Saddles' Before It Goes Down Memory Hole
12h
Father Who Instills Sound Doctrine In Children Also Guarantees They'll See Mittens The Cat In Heaven
WALNUT CREEK, CA—As a parent who wants to teach sound doctrine to his children, when Dave Brown, father, was asked by his sad-eyed, lip-quivering children if they would see Mittens the cat in heaven, he replied, “Absolutely.”“It’s very important to...
The Babylon Bee
Father Who Instills Sound Doctrine In Children Also Guarantees They'll See Mittens The Cat In Heaven
12h
Powerful: LeBron James Pulls Over To Lecture Homeless Man On His White Privilege
LOS ANGELES, CA—We all know LeBron James is an amazing human being, but seriously. Just when we thought he couldn't get any better, local media caught this powerful moment and WE CAN'T EVEN. Cameras caught the inspiring, heartwarming moment LeBron...
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The Babylon Bee
Powerful: LeBron James Pulls Over To Lecture Homeless Man On His White Privilege
14h
Controversy As Biden Caught Sniffing Confederate Statue
NASHVILLE, TN—While many on the left have taken a strong, anti-statue position, blaming statues for inequality and a number of unsolved murders, presidential candidate Joe Biden has taken a much softer stance and is often seen talking to statues....
Trump Generously Offers To Give Biden 30-Minute Head Start On All Debate Responses
WASHINGTON, D.C.—There has been talk about canceling the Trump-Biden debates, since Biden might have trouble competing with Trump's scathing wit and daunting intellect, or at least might just have trouble stringing together sentences. But Trump,...
The Babylon Bee
Trump Generously Offers To Give Biden 30-Minute Head Start On All Debate Responses
17h
Hillary Proposes Reparations To Anyone Who Ever Lost A Presidential Election To Trump
SWEETWATER, TN—As the Democratic Party ramps up their efforts to take back the White House, leftwing politicians have begun pushing new, progressive initiatives, mostly involving promises of reparations to various minorities. Democrats are proposing...
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The Babylon Bee
Hillary Proposes Reparations To Anyone Who Ever Lost A Presidential Election To Trump
18h
Corporations Drop LGBT Community Like Hot Tamale Now That Pride Month Over
U.S.—With pride month having ended, corporations across the nation who bravely took a stand for LGBT rights are now tearing down rainbow banners and throwing colorful promotional products in the garbage at an alarming rate. "Take the rainbows down...
Conservative Woman Surprised To Learn She's Waging War On Women
SALT LAKE CITY, UT—Local conservative woman Lauren Frank was surprised to discover earlier this week that she is engaged in active and hostile warfare against women.When asked how she came to this realization, Frank revealed that she was confronted...
Hollywood Actors Pledge Never To Take A Role Where They Have To Pretend To Be Someone Else
HOLLYWOOD, CA—In a push for inclusivity, actors across Hollywood resigned from their roles today and took a pledge never to take a role where they have to act like someone they are not.The actors resigned from their roles en masse since they are...
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The Babylon Bee
Hollywood Actors Pledge Never To Take A Role Where They Have To Pretend To Be Someone Else
35h
Christian Briefly Considers Placing Hope In God After Supreme Court Lets Him Down Again
OGDEN, UT—After a supremely disappointing decision from the Supreme Court, local Christian Paulson McPaully has reported a brief inclination to start placing his hope in God."I'm crushed," Paulson told sources. "I gave my everything to the Supreme...
The Babylon Bee
Christian Briefly Considers Placing Hope In God After Supreme Court Lets Him Down Again
36h
James Harden Still Getting Fouled Despite 6-Foot Social Distancing Rule
U.S.—The NBA has a new rule: players must stay six feet apart from each other at all times. Despite this rule, though, James Harden is still somehow getting fouled from six feet away.In a practice game today, Harden flopped on the ground hard,...
Controversial Video Shows Trump And Melania Brandishing Guns As Reporters Near White House
WASHINGTON, D.C.—A controversial video went viral Monday showing President Trump and First Lady Melania Trump brandishing guns as a mostly peaceful group of reporters approached the White House. Trump held an AR-15 and Melania waved around a...
The Babylon Bee
Controversial Video Shows Trump And Melania Brandishing Guns As Reporters Near White House
38h
Growing Up Hinn: The Costi Hinn Interview
This is the Babylon Bee Interview Show.Watch or listen to this episode on our podcast page, where subscribers can find full length episodes, or over on our YouTube channel. Subscribe using your favorite podcast platform here.Editor-in-chief Kyle...
The Babylon Bee
🎙️ NEW EPISODE: Today on The Bee Podcast @The_Kyle_Mann & @AXECOP talk to @costiwhinn, nephew of notorious faith healer Benny Hinn.
They talk living large like a Kardashian & what goes on behind the scenes of a prominent prosperity gospel ministry.
➡️buff.ly/3dIUKuF pic.twitter.com/LmOt3j8S17
39h
Equality At Last: Disney Confirms Winnie The Pooh Will Now Be Voiced By An Actual Bear
BURBANK, CA—Equality has finally covered the world like a literal, worldwide flood: Disney announced today that Winnie the Pooh will now be voiced by an actual grizzly bear.Disney says the move is the first step in making sure only non-humans voice...
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The Babylon Bee
Equality At Last: Disney Confirms Winnie The Pooh Will Now Be Voiced By An Actual Bear
40h
Democrats Prepare To Celebrate Dependence Day
U.S.—Democrats across the country prepared to celebrate Dependence Day this week, an annual holiday where they reflect upon their complete and total dependence on the government.Every year on July 4, Democrats celebrate the high holy day where they...
Christian Pharmaceutical Company Offers New Drug To Stop Swearing: Darnitol
SHOREWOOD, TX—Faith-based pharmaceutical company Healio announced that the FDA has approved a new drug that would help people with potty mouths watch their language. The new drug Darnitol has gone through rigorous testing and has shown impressive...
Dozens Accept America As Lord And Savior At First Baptist Dallas Service
DALLAS, TX—After an hour-long service commemorating Independence Day at First Baptist Church in Dallas, a beaming Pastor Robert Jeffress reported that “dozens and dozens” in attendance accepted the United States of America as their lord and...
Ventriloquist Takes Act To Next Level Thanks To COVID Mask
BOCA RATON, FL—Ventriloquist Reggie Glowman and his sidekick dummy Dingo have been struggling to book performances for the last 20 years. Glowman would have described himself as an average ventriloquist, but recently, his talents have skyrocketed....
Merciful God Vows To End Humanity Before 'The Princess Bride' Can Be Remade
HEAVEN—A spokesperson for the Most High God confirmed that God will be ending humanity before any remake of The Princess Bride can be released.Humanity was forced to acknoweldge that the God of the Bible is good, merciful, and gracious after His...