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Study: Women Find Men Carrying Leather-Bound ESV More Attractive
U.S.—A new study performed by LifeWay Research found that Christian women find men who are carrying a high-quality, leather-bound ESV Bible significantly more attractive than men who carry other versions of the Scriptures, or no Bible at all.When...
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The Babylon Bee
Study: Women Find Men Carrying Leather-Bound ESV More Attractive
13h
Hero: Man Stranded On Desert Island Still Obediently Wearing His Mask
CARIBBEAN—The U.S. Coast Guard announced today that they discovered a man who has been stranded on a deserted island in the Caribbean Ocean for over 5 months after his boat sunk in a storm. A spokesman for the USCG reported that this heroic man has...
Biden Calls A Lid Until Election Day
WILMINGTON, DE—Having completed the final presidential debate, Biden’s campaign has now announced they’re calling a lid until Election Day.“Biden needs the next eleven days to prepare for his acceptance speech,” Biden’s campaign manager Jen O'Malley...
Intelligence Experts Concerned Media May Tamper With Election By Asking Biden Questions
U.S.—As the presidential election looms, experts expect more dirty tricks from both major party campaigns. And now officials are warning of a growing plot to influence the election by asking Joe Biden questions.“There is a plot now to publicly...
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The Babylon Bee
Intelligence Experts Concerned Media May Tamper With Election By Asking Biden Questions
18h
YouTube
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The Babylon Bee
Election 2020 is fast approaching and Americans want to know: what will happen? Guy Curtis and Samantha Kurlock take a look into America's future with Dr. Malcolm Farnsworth's election prediction machine.
WATCH FULL ▶️ youtu.be/1vZt8t2CXTo pic.twitter.com/Md56XtJcdb
19h
World Turns To Christianity After Learning There Are No Politics In Heaven
WORLD—The entire planet has reportedly given their lives to Christ immediately upon hearing that there will be no politics whatsoever in Heaven. “You mean no political parties, no propaganda, and no elections in Heaven?!” said local man Clay Jones...
Trump Tweets The Bee/Jordan Peterson Returns/Facebook Kills Comedy News Show 10.23.2020
In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk about the week’s top stories like President Trump tweeting out a Babylon Bee story, Jordan Peterson returning with the 12 Rules For Life on stone tablets, and how Facebook is murdering...
The Babylon Bee
🎙️Today on The Bee Podcast, @The_Kyle_Mann & @AXECOP talk about the week’s top stories like President Trump tweeting out a Babylon Bee story, Jordan Peterson returning with the 12 Rules For Life on stone tablets, & Facebook murdering comedy.
WATCH ➡️ buff.ly/3js23cO pic.twitter.com/AEoBDj0mWK
20h
More Liberals Switching Their Vote To Trump After Realizing He's Their Only Reason For Living
U.S.—A new poll has found that more liberals are switching their vote to Trump after realizing he's their entire reason for living.Many progressives went to the polls intending to vote for Biden and switched at the last moment, suddenly having an...
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The Babylon Bee
More Liberals Switching Their Vote To Trump After Realizing He's Their Only Reason For Living
21h
The dumbest thing you’ll see today. If you're lucky.
"How the hell does a coyote bring a whole human across the border?!"
Chris Pratt Signs On For 'God's Not Dead 4' After Being Outed As Christian
HOLLYWOOD, CA—Just days after being outed as a possible Christian, Chris Pratt signed on for hundreds of cheesy Christian movies, including God's Not Dead 4: Revenge of the Atheists.The movie is a direct sequel to the other three. This time, Kevin...
With Mic Muted, Trump Corrects Biden With Tweets
NASHVILLE, TN—The Commission on Presidential Debates has determined that for the 2nd and final debate that microphones will be muted while the other candidate is speaking. Unable to call out and correct Joe Biden while muted, President Trump took...
Winning: Trump Walks Onstage Holding Hunter Biden’s Laptop
NASHVILLE, TN—Tonight’s final presidential debate got off to a bit of a rough start for Joe Biden. When the debate began, and the two candidates walked toward their respective podiums, Biden looked over and noticed that President Trump was carrying...
Tampa Bay Rays Thrilled To Be Playing In Front Of Such A Large Crowd
TAMPA BAY, FL—On the eve of Game 3 of the World Series, a consistent theme has emerged from the Tampa Bay clubhouse: sheer excitement to be playing in front of such a large crowd in the World Series.While many observers were concerned that the...
Finally: Facebook Will Now Require Its Content Moderators To Watch 'Monty Python And The Holy Grail'
MENLO PARK, CA—Facebook had egg on its face this week when it moderated a post by satirical site The Babylon Bee, a Christian site run by incredibly handsome, smart, writers. The post contained a reference to Monty Python and the Holy Grail, but...
The Babylon Bee
Finally: Facebook Will Now Require Its Content Moderators To Watch 'Monty Python And The Holy Grail'
41h
Progressive 5-Year-Old Claims Cookie Crumbs All Over His Face Are Part Of Russian Disinformation Campaign
PORTLAND, OR—Local 5-year-old progressive child Hunter Gaiden was caught with his hand in the cookie jar today. There were clearly crumbs all over his face, as well as a trail of crumbs leading right to the cookie jar.But Gaiden employed a brilliant...
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The Babylon Bee
Progressive 5-Year-Old Claims Cookie Crumbs All Over His Face Are Part Of Russian Disinformation Campaign
44h
Update: FBI Finds No Incriminating Material On Hunter's Laptop, Just A 400-Gigabyte Folder Named 'Homework'
WASHINGTON, D.C.—The FBI is reporting they've discovered no incriminating material, pornography, or any other illicit materials on Hunter Biden's laptop. All they could find was a 400-gigabyte folder named "HOMEWORK.""Yep, nothing bad on here," said...
The Babylon Bee
Update: FBI Finds No Incriminating Material On Hunter's Laptop, Just A 400-Gigabyte Folder Named 'Homework'
45h
Subaru Introduces Camera That Automatically Records Driver Melting Down About Trump And Uploads Video To TikTok
TOKYO—By popular demand, Subaru has introduced a new feature in all its 2021 models: a camera embedded in the dashboard that automatically records you freaking out about Trump and uploads the video to TikTok."This is much safer, since TikTokkers...
The Babylon Bee
Subaru Introduces Camera That Automatically Records Driver Melting Down About Trump And Uploads Video To TikTok
46h
Farmer who had Trump flags flying from his combine finds out his combine, two semis, and a tractor are on fire in his field
It was last Thursday morning around 7 a.m. when Jonathan Rempel, a farmer in Sutton, Nebraska, received a phone call from the Sutton Volunteer Fire Department. They told him that his combine (WHICH HAD BEEN FLYING TRUMP FLAGS), two semis, and a...
To Ensure Maximum Suffering, Hell's Film Library To Contain Only Christian Movies
HELL—In a somewhat ironic move to ensure maximum suffering among the people there, Hell has announced its film library will only contain Christian movies going forward. The movies will be remastered and available on Blu-Ray and 4K formats, so people...
The Babylon Bee
To Ensure Maximum Suffering, Hell's Film Library To Contain Only Christian Movies
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