Just in: Jeffrey Epstein's guards fell asleep and falsified records to cover up their failure to check on him for three hours before he died.
Jeffrey Epstein's guards fell asleep and falsified records to cover up their failure to check on him for 3 hours before he died
Jeffrey Epstein's guards fell asleep and failed to check on him for about 3 hours, then falsified records to cover up their mistake
BREAKING: The two guards who were allegedly responsible for monitoring Jeffrey Epstein when he committed suicide reportedly "fell asleep" and "then falsified records to cover up their mistake"
The two staff members in the unit where Jeffrey Epstein was held falsely recorded that they had checked in on him every half-hour, as required, two government officials told the ⁦⁩. One official said the guards were sleeping.
The warden of the jail where Jeffrey Epstein apparently killed himself has been temporarily reassigned, and two correctional officers who were guarding him were placed on administrative leave
A valuable lesson I learned from reporting on Wall Street: Incompetence/stupidity is just as likely an explanation as malice.
Hanlon's Razor: 'Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity' (or potentially overworked & underpaid staff)
The warden at the Manhattan prison where Jeffrey Epstein died has been removed and reassigned to a regional office. Two prison workers who were working in the unit with Epstein were put on administrative leave. ⁦
Your regular reminder that behind your favorite conspiracy theory ... are likely a couple of people who are simply bad at their job
It’s more comforting to believe in sophisticated conspiracies than total incompetence
It’s starting to look like the explanation for how Epstein committed suicide while under constant watch is that when you make somebody (in this case a prison guard) work overtime 5 nights running it’s magical thinking to suppose he won’t fall asleep.
The tragically mundane reality is that guards at a short-staffed jail reportedly fell asleep and then tried to cover up their lapse: . But few people who were promoting conspiracy theories on Saturday are saying much about this development.
Every single part of this story is sad and small and dark and hopeless. Jeffrey Epstein Death: 2 Guards Slept Through Checks and Falsified Records
Times headline: "Jeffrey Epstein Death: 2 Guards Slept Through Checks and Falsified Records." I can imagine the song that might go with it, "I Fall Asleep Thinking of My New Bitcoin Account."
Me: Glad I don't have to recallibrate my cynicism The universe, instantly: Make up some bullshit that's even worse and sourced to the new york times